France Fears

Since this June, I've been planning on going to France. As of now I have plane tickets, been accepted into language school, and have a place to stay. I've been reading lots of books and trying to practice mon francais. I took French in school but am far from fluent. I'm going to focus on mastering the language in my first 6 months or so...then I'm hitting the real world. The thing with learning a new language that worries me is looking like a fool. I've been around a lot of people that were trying to learn English, ESL as it's called. Our conversations were very basic, "how are you? do you like the weather?" etc. Not really inspiring conver. And now it's my turn to be on the giving end. How will my humor and sarcasim translate? Will I lose a part of myself in the translation? It will be humbling, to say the least. And I trust that will be good for me! Hope the French people enjoy talking about the weather...

Ah, yes then there's those that I leave behind. Family and friends that just won't fit in that suitcase...although I do have a grandniece that would fit in my carry-on...(vive le francais, Tess?) I think of all the things that I'll miss while I'm overseas...weddings, birthdays, graduations, family get-togethers, reunions, etc. I'm thankful for email and phonecalls but it's just not the same. I get sad when I think of this part of the trip. I'm not sure how to reconcile the feeling of excitement with this regret. I'm trusting that I'll find a "surrogate family" and surround myself with a new group of friends. And of course, keep in touch as much as I can.

Another concern is living in a big city. I'm a small town girl...always was, always will be, even if I live in a big city. I like to be able to feel safe walking down the street and knowing who my neighbors are. On the other hand, I enjoy culture, art galleries, ethnic meals, window shopping, parks, festivals, movies and all that other stuff that comes with living in a city. I'll just have to figure out the transit system and go exploring...getting lost might be a good way to orienate myself?!

It seems like this trip has taken forever to come together and now I'm down to a little over 2 months to go. Now where did I put those suitcases?.....